Let's talk about Sex and Relationships

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Bad relationships benefit no-one.

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I am extraordinarily motivated to keep good, positive relationships together and in the best possible place.  Creating repair,

through ownership and understanding can allow couples, friends, families to build better relationships.  This evolution can be

totally transformational.   I see it in my work, it's why I do what I do. I specialise in working with couples and relationships

because I know how vital they are to happiness and well being.  Indeed for most people few things feel more important

and there is nowhere probably more vulnerable than sex and our relationships.   

 

Whether you are having sex or in a relationship or not, how you feel about yourself, physically, emotionally and sexually

probably impacts how you feel about your life.  Many of my clients come to see me because problems are showing up in

their relationship and this will manifest in every aspect of how they interact, including in their sexual relationship.  If you are

struggling to be on the same page with one another, then talking about these things will sadly often become fraught, and go

nowhere.   It's hugely important to have someone listening to each of you and what you need but also focussed on the

relationship you share, and perhaps the family you share.   It should feel safe, but as I have said it is likely to bring challenge

and accountability, it's why trust is vital.  Personally I think humour is too, we need to be able to take the tempo down and

create some lightness so you can see what you have, and see each other. You can stop throwing grenades at each other

and build a bridge between you so you are on the same side.

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Our relationships are where we hope to feel most seen, known, understood and accepted in every way including emotionally,

relationally and sexually, if one of these is out of balance everything will be.   One of my clients once said she felt I was a

"good translator of her". Consequently in a fraught relationship where she could not at times articulate herself, our work together,

and my understanding of her, allowed her to be better understood in an important relationship which had become fractured.

 

Like all the things that trouble those I work with, my goal is to make talking about this as easy as it can be. I ensure that the

space feels safe and non judgemental.  In this way the focus is for you to feel able to build an understanding of what may

be getting in your way whether behavioural, emotional, physical or psychological.  We can explore whether the feelings

are related to events, experiences, your own or others beliefs and judgement.  Using this understanding and awareness we

work together to build your confidence in terms of sexual self esteem and fulfilment.

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Having a place and a space to talk about this whether the trigger is psychological or physical can be really supportive and

calming, reinstating a balance and equilibrium that may have been lost.  I always describe the way I work as two human

beings in a room, (sometimes three in my couples work), very relaxed, empathic, supportive and here to help restore a sense

of wellbeing and happiness.

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